I have zits

I had clear skin until 7th grade and then let me talk to you for a minute about the most depressing, embarrassing, counseling inducing period of my life.  It is called, "all of jr. high and high school".  It wrecked my shop.  I was like an acne commercial of yuck.
Every type of zit ever conceived was on my face and I think Satan used it as a testing ground for new zits that you haven't ever heard of.  I could basically squeeze my cheeks together and puss would come out of my nose.  That was so gross, I'm sorry I said that.
Then I graduated High School and they magically went away.  I got a boyfriend to prove it.  And jeans from Express.
Then I blew out 30 candles on my birthday cake and I don't even want to talk about it.
My story has no happy ending, no vitamins are helping, no creams are helping, no masks are helping, no washed pillowcases, no exfoliants, no moisturizers.  I would like to apologize in advance to my daughter who is going to have a nasty face mom in all her pictures.

Maybe I'll win this thing and it will change my facial life.  http://itsalmostnaptime.blogspot.com/

That is all.

Love,
zitpussacnepimpleundergroundblackheadwhiteheadface

Homemade Aprrilllll?????-Face Wipes

Oh yeah, I disappeared big time.  Did you miss me?  No, nothing was wrong, I just needed to do other things.

So, I made something else I thought I would tell you about it, plus also I haven't given up on this project.  It is definitely not April any more but I still want to do 30 days of new stuff for the 30 days in April.  Coming soon: Marshmallows, Caramel Sauce, and Granola.

Ok back to Face Wipes.
Confession time.  I hate washing my face at night and here's why.
1.  Who wants to use a washrag, they don't even live in my bathroom, I would have to walk all the way to the closet to retrieve one.   And yeah, you could not use a washcloth but that still leaves you with issue number 2.
2.  Then you scoop up some water into your hands and the minute your arms go skywards you have water sprinting down the backs of your arms up into your armpits and all over your clothes.  You might as well have taken a drink from a fire hydrant.
3.  Your hair gets wet, a little bit, but it gets wet and I hate that.
4.  You may have taken a little bit of your mascara off either during cleansing or during the toweling off and we all know that if you mess with the eye area you either have to go all out to get it all off or NOT TOUCH IT.  It's hard to avoid the eye areas while washing.

Another confession.  So, I buy those little jars of perfectly cut circle wipies for your little facey.  They are nice, and slightly damp, they tingle my face, they live in my drawer, and I will actually wash my face at night if I have them in stock.

Problem is, I'd rather not have to keep buying them.  Oh my word this is taking forever to tell you about, I'm just going to skip to the good stuff.
I did a little research and basically made baby wipes with different ingredients for your face.  I may, and I mean may, cut up some baby wash-clothes into little squares and use those next time so that there's less garbage out-put.  I love you too Earth.

So, pour in 2 T Baby Oil.  Yeah that's right, oil on your face, it's important.  Not your nasty fingertip oil, but other oils.  If someone would have told Jr. High Laura to keep her filthy hands off my epidermis then I might not have been voted Puss Queen.  (I wasn't actually voted that, I just felt like that every day of Jr. High and High School).  Then 1 T Witches Hazel it's at Walmart people don't get all hot and bothered that you won't be able to find it.  Then 3 T Toner-Neutrogena makes Alcohol Free Toner and that is less drying on your skin.  I found it at Walgreens.  Then some Aloe Vera or some Vitamin D would be nice.  I squeezed 3 capsules of Aloe onto the top which most likely didn't do anything.   Then you pour your 1.5 Cups boiling water all over the top of that.  Let it hang out and cool for a while and put your airtight container back on it.  


Done.  I've been using them for 2 weeks.  And I love.  And I'm sorry about my high volume of inner thought. 

Homemade April-Pancake Syrup

Find out today who is in the running to be...America's Next top Syrup.

Today I found only three recipes that I felt like trying, and decided to do another side by side because I would really like to make this from scratch like it's my job.

I ran out of maple flavoring in the middle of my quest to find the perfect syrup so I left my kitchen a disaster while my husband came home to the smell of pancakes and was sorrowful that there was none to be had.

Each recipe had these basic ingredients: sugar, water, maple flavoring and some added ingredients to include: brown sugar, corn syrup, vanilla, and butter.  When I took this picture I had to make sure all the syrups were facing me and not looking around at other things.  LOSER.

Let's see how they did:

1.  Well, Butter my Biscuit:
In a saucepan bring the following things to a boil:
1 1/2 C sugar
1 C brown sugar
1 C water
1/2 C lt. corn syrup
Remove from heat and stir in 1/2 T vanilla and 1/2 T maple flavoring
If you like the taste of butter.  AND I DO.  Stir in 2 T butter.  Actual live butter.  It'll float to the top after it sits for a while but unlike chicken fat, you can eat it.

Verdict: We liked the strong flavors of maple and vanilla in this one, I love the butter flavor because it is hard to spread butter on cooled pancakes because you are burping your kid and cutting up fruit salad when they are done and can't eat them right away.  So this gives you the butter you need without the spreading issues.  You are still in the running to be America's Next Top Syrup.

2.  Plain Jane:
Put 2 C sugar in a bowl and pour 1 C boiling water over the top to dissolve.
Add 1-2 t maple.

Verdict: Sorry to the person who gave me this recipe but the sugar ended up in a big lump and was really grainy.  We gave it a fair try and stirred it up, warmed it up and tried it with a bite of waffles this morning but it ended up in the drain.  I'm sorry but you are no longer in the running to be America's Next Top Syrup.

3.  Trying to Make Things Difficult:
Put the following in a saucepan, bring to a boil, and boil on medium for 7 minutes.  I stirred it a lot.  Burnt sugar reminds me of Chemistry class with Mrs. Wilson.
3/4 C brown sugar
1/4 C sugar
3/4 C water
1/2 C lt. corn syrup

Stir 1/2 t maple flavoring and 1/2 t vanilla off the heat.
Cool for 15 minutes.

Verdict: This one had the best consistency and I think it was because you do that 7 minutes of boiling.  Very good flavor, a little thin on the flavors.  Congratulations, you are still in the running to be America's next Top Syrup.

Winner: The Combo
I'd take the first recipe and boil it for 7 minutes
Use only 1/2 C water to make it thicker-cause I like my syrup thick.
If I made the last one again-I'd up the flavorings to 1/2 T each instead of the t.
NOW HERE THIS: all the syrups thickened up as they set (I'd say a good 15-30 minutes) so if you are thinking of trying this the morning you eat breakfast, make this first to let it set.

Cost-zero because I had everything
Hippie Score-7.5


Here's where I get all genius on you.  I have 3 containers of hot fudge and now 2 containers of syrup in my fridge and am wondering how I am going to handle the crowd control once I get into salad dressings etc.  I'm about to amaze you.  Old creamer container!!!!!!!!  We rarely get creamers but I saved it for Eva to play with and she's going to have to play with rinsed out sour cream containers or something.  It's superb because it pours.

That's all.  I'm going out on the porch now to do my BSF while my husband does his reading for class.

Homemade April-Baby Wipes

I finally got around to making these and here were my reasons for taking so long.

1.  A couple of my friends said theirs grew mold.  I don't put mold on my baby.
2.  I needed a way that I could still get wipes out with one hand.  Not have to unscrew a lid or use two hands to tear the wipes apart.
3.  I didn't get to Target to get the container until now.

So, you already have everything you need at home.  Unless you don't have Baby Oil.  I had to go get some and I don't really know why people put baby oil on their babies, or when to put it on, or where to put it.

You'll need: Paper towel roll (Giant or normal), baby shampoo, baby oil, water, and a good container.

The container matters.  I got one from target that is Air Tight, (important) and that I can open with one hand, (important to me), and that is big enough for half a paper towel roll, (necessary kind of important).

1.  Get out a big measuring cup and pour 2.5 Cups of water in it if using a giant sized paper towel roll-otherwise 2 C is fine. Put it in the microwave for 3-4 minutes so that it boils.
2.  Take your bread knife, electric would be handy, and saw your paper towel roll in half.  Doesn't matter if the tear isn't perfect.  Throw the paper towel roll into your sweet AIR TIGHT container.
3.  With a measuring spoon measure out 2 T baby oil (if your babe is allergic to stuff you can use vegetable oil or coconut oil) and drizzle on the top of the roll, and do the same with 2 T baby shampoo.
4.  Then pour all that boiling water over your paper towel-yes it seems like a lot.  Cover and flip upside down if you want to-I didn't want to.
5.  Do something else for 5 minutes.  I ate some Red Velvet cake because miraculously we still have some left and I can't exercise right now anyway.  I am sick, my nose and throat are sick, Vitamin C overdose made my stomach sick and now my nose is bleeding from all the blowing.
6.  Take out the little cardboard guy from the center of the paper towels.  Use from the inside and they even tear if you use the edge of the container and apply OOMPH.
7.  Voila!

Read me: Some people who live in humid climates put 4 drops tea tree oil to help with mold.  Also, unscented baby shampoo/bath doesn't have perfume which helps cut down on mold so you could use scented baby bath as well.

Cost: 1.15 per container. Saves me 12.00 a month I think and that's for the cheapest baby wipes out there.
Will I do: Yep, I like.
Hippie Score: 7

Homemade April-Red Velvet Cake

First I feel I must tell you that I had the idea to make Red Velvet cake before PW posted hers.  I love PW but she took the jewels out of my bedazzler on this one.  So...I didn't use her recipe...although in most cases I would have.  Instead I used Cooks Illustrated because they are my first love when it comes to anything amazing.  I wanted to make this because I have only ever made the boxed kind and it's a tradition for me to make it for Valentines day in a cute heart shape with pink and red sprinkles on top.

Here we go!  Let's make a mess of your kitchen!

You're going to need:

Cake:

11 ¼ ounces (2 1/2 cups) unbleached all purpose flour
1 ½ teaspoons baking soda
Pinch (less than 1/8 t) table salt
1 cup buttermilk (i always have buttermilk in the fridge because i use it at least once a week but you could do a tablespoon less than 1 C milk and add either 1 T vinegar or lemon.
1 tablespoon white vinegar
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
2 large eggs
2 tablespoons cocoa powder
2 tablespoons or 1 ounce bottle red food coloring ( read this three times slowly like I did and then have a small panic attack.
12 tablespoons unsalted butter that has been softened
10 ½ ounces (2 1/3 slightly heaping C) granulated sugar

Frosting: (you can use canned cream cheese frosting and I won't think any less of you)16 tablespoons unsalted butter that has been softened
16 ounces (1 lb) confectioners’ sugar
16 ounces softened cream cheese
1 ½ teaspoons vanilla extract
Pinch table salt

1.  Get out your butter and cream cheese now to soften and preheat your oven to 350-making sure your baking rack is in the middle oven position.  You could put your butter and cream cheese over the oven to speed the process along.

2.  In a medium bowl, add the flour, baking soda, and salt. Mix.

3. In a 2 C or large measuring cup, add the buttermilk, vinegar, vanilla, and eggs. Whisk.

4. In a small bowl, add the cocoa powder and food coloring. Mix until it forms a smooth paste.

5.  NOW here this.  If your Kitchen Aid has broken down and you cried about it for a week straight and can't make cookies easily any more you can still make this with your hand mixer.  

6.  In a large bowl OR in your Kitchen Aid mixer with the whisk attachment.  Whisk together/Blend the sugar and butter.  2-3 minutes should make it creamy.

7.  Now things get ridiculous.  Scrape down your bowl in between all of these next steps.

8.  Add 1/3 of the flour mixture to the butter bowl-mix.  Add 1/2 the liquid stuff to the butter bowl-mix.  Add another 1/3 of the flour, mix.  Dump in the last of the liquid-mix.  Then the rest of the flour stuff-mix that all up.  

9.  Get out a spatula and scrape out the red cocoa paste into your bowl.  Mix until no streaks remain scraping down your bowl. 

10.  Butter and flour two 9 inch cake pans.  

11.  Pour the batter into the cake pans and put in the oven for 25-30 minutes.  (Check at 20 with a toothpick just to make sure).  

12.  Let them cool in their little warm homes for 10 minutes and then put them on a wire rack for 20 more minutes of cooling while you make the frosting.

Transition to Frosting Directions

13.  Beat up the butter and powdered sugar with either your stand mixture or your hand mixer.

14.  Cut in the softened cream cheese ( I used a knife and sliced in 5 slices per CC rectangle).  Mix it up.

15.  Add the vanilla and salt.  Mix.  

16.  Spread on your cooled cake!!!

Thoughts: While it's not a to die for cake because it's not grossly chocolate; I like that it's different and I like that it's pretty.  I like the frosting A LOT.

Homemade April-Poppy Seed Dressing

 This one was given to me by a friend 5 years ago but I've tweaked it a little bit.  The salad that goes best with it goes like this:




Greens: Spinich, Spring Mix or Romaine.  I like to do a combo of all three!
Fruit: Sliced strawberries, mandarin oranges, thinly sliced pear or cara cara oranges.
Nuts: sliced almonds, walnuts or sunflower seeds
Feta Cheese sometimes
Tiny bits of bacon sometimes

Another reason that I like this is that I usually have the stuff at home.

In a small bowl combine:
1/2 Cup Mayo
1 T vinegar
1 T white wine (if you don't have it-that's cool, i just use white cooking wine)
1/4 C sugar
2 T Milk

2 T sour cream (optional)
1 T poppy seeds

Whisk Whisk Whisk

Pop in the fridge for at least 20 minutes.

Pop Pop Pop

Take it our right before serving and whisk again-with a fork if necessary.

Yum Yum Yum.

Homemade April-Brown Sugar

Brown Sugar is weird.  But when you run out of it in the middle of making Chocolate Chip cookies your life is pretty much over.  So, if you want to save yourself a grocery store run you'd better have one very important ingredient in your pantry...Molasses.

Here we go.

For One cup of Light Brown Sugar, Combine 1 Cup normal sugar and 1.5 T of Molasses in a microwave safe bowl.

I can't really say you "combine" it.  The molasses just sits on top and refuses to cooperate.

Then things get interesting.  Soak 2 paper towels and put them over your mixing bowl.  Then cover all that with some plastic wrap.

Microwave your brown sugar incubator for 10 second intervals stirring after each time until the sugar is soft enough to look like brown sugar.  Mine took 5, 10 second intervals much to the wonderment of my husband.

Stir and break up any larger pieces of molasses.  Stir stir stir.

Then you can either use it right away or put a piece of bread or fruit into the bowl, leave the damp paper towels over it and seal it.

Dark Brown Sugar is the same story just with 1/4 C Molasses.

Blog is being totally stupid right now so I'm not editing these photos or trying to line them up again because I did that four times already, and Eva is waking up and I get to go to Starbucks today. See ya.

Homemade April-Applesauce

This one was surprisingly easy and quick. I like serving fruits or vegetables that take a tiny bit more thought than "microwave this for 5 minutes, or cut up this fruit and throw it in a bowl".  This is different enough to make me smile without pulling out my hair or needing to run to the store for ingredients.

 My friend Heidi just made a gazillion jars of applesauce, (one for every week of the year if I remember right) a couple weeks ago and I'm sure she has a perfect recipe but I forgot to ask her for it.  I'll fudge the ingredients next time but I think I'm on to something close enough that if you make it like this you won't be disappointed.

Dice up 3 sort of sweet apples.  I used Fuji.  Now...if you like peels in your applesauce you can leave them on but for some reason I wasn't feeling the peel today which is totally not like me.  I like peels in my mashed potatoes, peels on the apple crostata, peels on my pot roast carrots etc.

If you've never diced an apple without the help of your stupid Pampered Chef apple corer/slicer here's how you do it.  Peel your apple by putting your knife sideways and cutting a curlycue around the apple in a circle.

The cut the apple in half from stem to, um, other stem.  Then with your little knife cut out two triangles into the center of your apple to get the stem part out.  Cut the half in half and then use a little swoopty action with your knife to get the core out.  Lay your 4 pieces of apple on their sides and cut the long way 3 times and then dice it the other direction.

Throw those in a pan.
Add 1/4 plus 2 T water
1 T cinnamon
1/8 t ginger
1/8 t nutmeg
1/2 t all spice
1/2 t pumpkin spice
2 T brown sugar
I think I'll add a little more liquid next time but make it apple juice and add another 1/4 C.

Simmer and stir every so often for 20 minutes until soft.
Take all but 1/4-1/2 cup and process in a food processor a couple pulses.
Take the leftovers and using a fork, mash up the rest of the apple.
Combine together and serve warm or cold.

Turns out darker and not runny at all like store-bought but I like it that way.  I don't like it when my applesauce runs into my hamburger bun and soaks it all up to a soggy mess.

This would also be a really great healthy dessert with a touch of whipped cream and caramel sauce.  Or vanilla ice cream and caramel sauce.  ORRRRRR put it in your plain oatmeal the next morning.  Or use it as a spread on buttered toast.  OK, I think I needed to make some more.

Cost: I had everything at the house so...ZERO.
Hippie Score: 3
Will I do it again: yep.  i love applesauce but husbando doesn't so I buy a jar and eat as much as I can before I get sick of it and then find moldy applesauce in the back of the fridge on the 1st of the month when I clean out the fridge from tip to toe.

Homemade April-Laundry Soap

Oooooh this one I'm totally pumped about.  Do people still say totally, or pumped, or totally pumped?

At first I was worried about where I would find these ingredients and how difficult this would be.  Let me tell ya.  The ingredients were at Walmart and Smiths, (our local grocery store).  And it took me five minutes to make, (could have taken me less time as I'll explain later).

Here's how to do it.
Assemble your three ingredients.  Washing Soda and Fels Naptha were at Walmart.  20 Mule Team Borax were at Smiths.  How much is this going to cost ya?  Your first cost will be a grand total of  8.50 for all three things.  I figured out that the cost of one recipe is 1.19 because you will use to boxed stuff again.

Using a microplane grater or something else pretty small.  Grate up your Fels Naptha soap.  NOW...IF your Kitchen Aid still works and IF you are lucky enough to have the cheese grater attachment this would take you 30 seconds.  If you think your cheese grater's holes are too big then you could run this through a food processor too.   Dump in 2 Cups of Washing Soda and 2 Cups of Borax.  Stir it all up!

 Cut up an old cheesecloth thingy/dishrag and pour a little rice in it.  Then use string or a bread wrapper guy and make a little rice satchel to help control the moisture of your soap.

 Put your satchel in with your soap in a ziplock or tupperware container and seal it up.

You use 2 T of detergent per wash load so rather than sacrifice one of my own for the cause of laundry I took an old liquid laundry measurer and put 2 T in it and then drew a sharpie line where I would need my detergent to stop.  Then because I was so excited I threw in a load of Eva's clothes immediately.  They just stopped washing so I'm going to go take a look.
I'm back.  They smell great and even some poopy stains were washed out!




Here's the short version:
Gather Fels Naptha, Washing Soda and Borax 20 Mule Team.
Grate your Fels Naptha into a bowl and add 2 Cups of Soda and 2 Cups of 20 Mule Team.
Store in an airtight container.
Yields 48 wash loads and costs 1.19 to make one recipe.  ( I spelled recipe correctly for the first try and that never happens).

Will I do it again-totally I'm hooked
Hippie Score-8
Cost-1.19

Homemade April-Taco Seasoning

This one I always knew was possible but just have never take the time to go about doing it.

Here's the mixture I settled on:

3 T Paprika
3 T Chili Powder
3 T Corn Syrup
1 T Black Pepper
1 T Cumin
1 T Garlic Powder
1 T Dried Oregano
1.5 t onion powder
1.5 t cayenne
1.5 pepperocino (which I don't have and have never even heard of so I skipped it)
1.5 salt

2 Tablespoons of this concoction is equivalent to 1 Packet of Taco Seasoning.
You are essentially making 6 packets of Seasoning.

As long as this is stored in an airtight container it will last as long as you want it too.  I'm going to throw it in a little ziplock baggie.

I'll do up some tacos this week and then let you know how it goes.

Cost Comparison: As long as I don't have to drive to the store because I forgot it...I don't care.  Since it makes 6 packets worth and most likely you'll have the stuff at home already I think the cost is in your favor.
Hippie Score: 2 out of 10
Will I do it: Yep

Update: I don't love it.  We made tacos tonight.  I think they are too spicy or something for me but I'm not done with the testing so I'll try a different recipe soon.

Homemade April-Shampoo

So...I'm making homemade Shampoo and I have no idea how this is going to work out.  There are only two ingredients.

1 T Baking Soda
1 C Hot Water

I think I'm going to have to mix it up in the shower because it isn't supposed to settle at all.  I put the baking soda in a little pyrex dish and off to the shower I did go.  I just used hot water from the sink before I got in and mixed it up with my finger.  Once I was in the shower I wet my hair immediately and mixed again and then poured the bowl onto my head.  As I was rubbing it in I thought to myself, "well...it feels clean".  Then I made a mistake and opened my mouth.  Baking Soda water began pouring in and it reminded me of that one time that I bought baking soda toothpaste because I heard it was really good and then I couldn't finish the tube because of the fact that it tasted like it's namesake.  I decided not to use conditioner so that I could see what all the fuss was about.  Combed out very easily and feels clean and fresh.  I am a little worried that it could lighten my hair so I am going to wash every other day.

Hippie Score-9, definitely a 9
Do Again?  I can't tell yet, maybe...I'm going to be buying baking soda for 20 other things at this point so I think I'll use if for a month and then decide at the end.
Cost Comparison-I bought a cereal sized container of Baking Soda for 2.18 at Walmart I think it is cheaper.

My information comes from:
http://babyslime.livejournal.com/174054.html

Homemade April-Hot Fudge

This begins my journey into trying out some homemade goodies- one each day for the whole month of April. Eric forgot to bring the camera home so there won't be any visualness going on today.
I think I'm going to need some pint jars!

Today I'll be trying out 4 versions of Hot Fudge.
1.  Melt some chocolate.
2.  Marshmallow Melt.
3.  Cocoa Melt.
4.  Complicated Melt.
These versions are from the reliable source of google.

1. Melt some chocolate.   

• 1 stick Butter (do Not Use Margarine that stuff is so ick)
• 6 ounces, weight Unsweetened Chocolate
• 2 cups Sugar
• 1 12 oz can Evaporated Milk
• 1 teaspoon Vanilla

Melt the butter and chocolate until blended. Stir in the sugar slowly until completely mixed.

Add milk s-l-o-w-l-y, stirring constantly. Add in vanilla; make sure all is blended.

Allow to cool slightly. 


Yield:  2 pint jars. 


Totally delicious.  Will last you forever.  Great to give as a gift.  Same consistency and color as jared HF.  

2.  Marshmallow Melt.

• ¼ cups Butter (with Salt)
• 1 can (14 Oz) Sweetened Condensed Milk
• 6 ounces, weight Semi-sweet Baking Chocolate
• ½ cups Miniature Marshmallows.  I pronounce marshmallow marshmEllow thus rendering me useless in my spelling attempts.
• 1 teaspoon Vanilla Extract

In a small pot, add butter, condensed milk, chocolate and marshmallows. Stir over low heat until everything is melted and glossy. Remove from heat and stir in the vanilla.


Yield: 1.5 pint jarsish.


Yummy.  If you like sweeter chocolate and an good interesting thickness due to the marshmallows.  This is your friend. 

3.  Cocoa Melt.

• 2 Tablespoons Butter
• 2 Tablespoons Milk
• 3 Tablespoons Cocoa
• 1 teaspoon Vanilla
• ¾ cups Powdered Sugar

Heat butter and milk in the microwave until butter is melted. Mix in cocoa and vanilla. Stir in powdered sugar. Substitute dark chocolate cocoa for a richer and deeper flavor.

Yield: Doesn't matter, don't make it.

I'm going to say it's a no for this one.  Not rich enough, not thick enough, not tasty enough.

4.  Complicated Melt

•  10 ounces semisweet chocolate, chopped
•  ⅓ cup Dutch-processed cocoa powder, sifted
•  ¾ cup light corn syrup
•  ⅓ cup sugar
•  ⅓ cup heavy cream
•  ⅓ cup water
•  Pinch table salt
•  3 tablespoons unsalted butter, cut into ¼-inch pieces
•  1 teaspoon vanilla extract

1. Microwave chocolate, whisking often, until melted and smooth, 1 to 3 minutes. Whisk in cocoa until dissolved.
2. Meanwhile, simmer corn syrup, sugar, cream, water, and salt in medium saucepan over medium heat, stirring frequently, until thickened, about 4 minutes.
3. Off heat, whisk in butter and vanilla. Cool mixture slightly, about 2 minutes, before whisking in melted chocolate until smooth. Serve warm.


Yield: about 2 pints


The richest chocolate taste of them all but thinner than the first two.  

Conclusion:

Cost Comparison-don't care because it's fun
Hippie Rating-2 out of 10.  
Will I make it again?  Yes

So...The Winner is.
For me it's the Marshmallow Melt.  I love how thick it is.
We took it to a friends house where 15 people voted and all but one liked Complicated Melt the best.

Most intense chocolate taste is the Complicated Melt.  Both melted chocolate and cocoa!
Number One is basically the exact taste of jarred hot fudge so I'm going to say when you want to make something different choose 2 or 4.  

Sour Bags

So...I'm breast feeding and while I never dreamed of giving up on it, I wanted to warn you rookies out there what BF really entails.
First of all in the middle of your 20 minute sleep 24 hours after you give birth they do a procedure on you called Melon Implants.  It's a honeydew melon that they implant in your breasts so that you still have weight on your front end JUST LIKE WHEN YOU WERE PREGNANT!  Then they bring your boobs down to bellybutton level so that they can rest on your post baby belly and so that you can make Jabba the Hut references to yourself when no one is listening.

After your procedure you may find that your chest begins to tingle as if internal tape worms are crawling around in there.  Then as if German militia took up residence inside your nipple.  They begin firing milk out of your boobs so fast and furious that your Omaha beach ie. tummy, jeans, sheets etc are soaked.  I can remember the day when I changed pants 3 times because I soaked them so badly and I am not exaggerating about that.

Now enters the newborn.  This baby has been fed via tummy tube for 9 months and now is going to attempt to drink milk from a fire hydrant while in a dead sleep.  Shooting milk into your child's nose, eyes and generally drenching them is a real treat for a new mom.  What a tender touching bonding moment with your new baby.

Wearing those pads is the only thing that can save you from shirt moisture.  During those first weeks you can change pads 3 times a day and often friends will notice a new odor you are emitting.  It's your sour pads.  Throw those things away!

It was not funny at first.

But now I laugh when I think about those early days.

Breast Feeding=Amazing

Mama had a Baby

Eric and I are thrilled to be parents to a really precious baby girl.  Here's how the story goes...

On Wednesday Nov. 18th Eric and I are at Bible Study and I feel a little wetness in the wetter.  Since Eric has lovingly dubbed me The Boy who Cried Wolf.  I decided not to share about our little moist friend until I knew for sure that this was a sign that baby was on the way.  I went to bed that night with my little secret and woke up the next morning to go to the bathroom while Eric was getting ready for work.

As I ended my bathroom moment-my bathroom moment didn't end me.  It kept on sharing.  So I announced to Eric that my water was breaking and that since I wasn't feeling any contractions that he should mosey on to work while I called the hospital and got ready for the day.  Being myself I had a list of how my day to deliver should go and I wasn't about to let anyone mess with that.
I went out to the kitchen and told my mom the good news and started down the list.  Packing and putting things in the car, getting snacks ready, calling the hospital who encouraged me to come in and I told them I'd be there when I felt like it, blow drying my hair and getting into the clothes I wanted to deliver in.  I had my last meal (planned for months) grilled cheese and tomato soup.  Around 9:00 I started to feel some contractions and they intensified with every one so that I called Eric at 10:30 and told him to come home.  He got home at 11:30 and at this point I couldn't talk when I had a contraction but was still very comfortable.


 We loaded up the car and headed to the hospital arriving at 12:30.
They told me they would check to see if my water had actually broken before they checked me in and at this point my labor was still bearable but painful.  I didn't want to lie down at all and that hospital bed felt like a plywood pillow so I rocked in the rocking chair as they still got worse.  The nurse announced that my water didn't break (which I internally roll my eyes at) and I moved to the bathroom-the only comfortable place I could think of while tears started coming out of my eyes through the pain.  I told Eric that I didn't think I could do it anymore (thinking I still had hours of this left).  Eric assured me that I could take it and at that moment the nurse ordered me sternly into bed and off the toilet.  The contractions were bed bar gripping horrible at this point with no rest in between.

The midwife FINALLY came in and checked me and looked me in the eye and said, "Do you still want to have this baby naturally?".  I do not remember saying this but Mom said I replied, "I don't know".  She looked at me and said, "It's time to push now and I know you can do this".
Well great people!  So at 1:30 I started pushing and the contractions didn't hurt at all, the pushing didn't hurt at all.  It was just lots of work and I kept thinking to myself.  "I am actually going to push a baby out of my girl parts!"  At 2:04 Eric announced that we were parents to a baby GIRL and we were thrilled.  She was a beauty from the start and a little bit of red hair fuzz confirmed all no brainer guesses as to her hair color.
We named her Evangeline Kaia which means Bringer of Good News and Pure.  Kaia is Norwegian after Eric's heritage.  We love her a lot.