The Feeling of Being Settled

This feeling just isn't going to be a natural state of being for me for long periods of time. Eric and I have finally felt like we are building community, getting closer with friends on and off base, having such a great time with language learning, and setting patterns of life and it's time to mix it all up again.

Eric and I leave next Wednesday to fly into Baltimore and then seperate for about a month while he has training in Wisconsion to prepare him to go back to Iraq, and I head back to Iowa and visit California while waiting for his training to end. Then we will spend about three weeks with family before we fly back to Turkey and have a week together before he deploys for six months.

The most wearing part of all this is the emotional front and back end of the changes. The knowing about the deployment SO far in advance is always in our thoughts, and the travel stresses, and the being apart stresses. Even though NOTHING has happened yet we are emotionally far into this journey.

Eric would agree that this deployment already feels different and not really for the better. I would agree with him. Last time I was so busy at Starbucks, with friends who made me eat, watched Grey's with me, and let me sleep at their houses when I was really sad so time flew by. This time I don't have a sixty hour work week to take up the majority of my day. I am looking for structure but I'm not sure if that is what God would have for me this time. I am VERY aware that finding rest and satisfaction in Him alone are part of my present growth opportunities. So He may very well be uninterested in me finding "distractions" from a very opportune time to grow while Eric is away. I do want to go hard after language while he's gone and be a light to the American non-christians that I support through the key spouse position.

So, pray that my heart would be settled even when my feet and my mind are running around the world.